After reading my last post and giving my blog site a little revamp I decided to post a little update/reflection on what’s been going on with me, why I haven’t posted in over a year, and how the inspiration to write came back to me. I ended my last post by saying I will be posting more often “unless life gets in the way.” Yeah, life definitely got in the way. After my dad’s radiation treatment, he had bad side effects which led to an emergency tracheostomy. That’s how the new year started for my family. It’s been insane. Now, I’m not going to list every single thing that happened to me this year, but I will tell you how I feel now that I made it this far. Reflecting is fun because it makes me realize how much far I’ve actually come.
I have gone through the hardest thing with my family since my sister died. We got the terrible news that the cancer came back in my dad’s throat in September. It didn’t take long for his appointments to be made for an intense surgery on the 25th of October. Dad would require a complete laryngectomy, meaning the loss of his vocal cords and voice. The surgery had to be in Seattle and we didn’t know if I was going to be able to go until a couple days before we were supposed to leave. So off we were flying to Seattle in one day from Nelson Lagoon, to Anchorage, to Seattle. Everything seemed to go by super fast that first week. The day of dad’s 12-hour surgery was one of the longest days my mom and I have ever had. Thankfully everything went well and dad started his recovery. We had to learn how to do wound care for him and all kinds of new things after the surgery.
I am so proud of my dad for his mindset and how he handled all of this. It’s not very nice to go through radiation and then get an emergency tracheostomy and then get told your cancer is back and get a complete laryngectomy all in one year. But he did it. He put his mind to it and just got it done. It’s not like he had a choice, but he has gone through a lot more than people know, so to see him now after all of this makes my heart full. I cannot express fully how thankful I am for this outcome. He can’t talk right now. It’s an interesting thing to mourn someone’s voice. My dad had a distinct voice and just a great laugh. At first I was sad about him not having his voice anymore, but that quickly changed because he’s still here and he’s doing much better than he was before we left for Seattle. He’s so self-sufficient and has been working hard since we got home. From taking care of the road uptown to taking care of his own wounds. He’s recovering pretty darn well and I am just so proud of him. I still pray for him every day. Dad deserves to be happy and healthy he doesn’t need to deal with anymore bullshit.
This trip really made me think about things that I haven’t thought about before. This was an experience between me and my parents that you never think you’re going to have to go through. It’s something that was so unexpected and the feeling before everything goes down and then the feeling of when it’s all over is really crazy to experience. When we first got the news it was heartbreaking. Kind of made me feel like giving up honestly. Makes you think what is the point of life when nothing but shitty things keep happening. But you can’t let life get to you like that cus that’s just what it is, life. We have to roll with the goddamn punches and deal with it. We can’t let the bad times outweigh the good no matter how hard it is. My brain quickly went from distraught and pissed off to positive thoughts like “we can do this.” After everything was over and we made it back home it kind of didn’t feel real. I kept telling mom and dad “we did it!” And of course we couldn’t have done it without the support of our friends and family. So many people helped us. So many people prayed for my dad. We were lucky to have some family and people we know who took care of us in Seattle too. So in the beginning it felt like we weren’t going to be able to handle it. It felt so terrible before we left. And now that it’s all over and dad is doing good I am so thankful for everything.
To continue on with my reflecting of this year I have to talk about my 2nd favorite highlight of the year, the first is my dad’s successful surgery. This year was the official beginning of what I like to call my fitness journey. I really put my mind to it and since April 2022 I have lost 16 pounds and I am super proud of myself for it. I actually made it to my goal weight and now I want to focus on building some muscle. It took a combination of things for me to lose the weight and I am going to make another post to talk about my personal experience.
It’s the end of the year and things seem to be getting busier. I am involved in a lot of different things for work at the environmental department right now, so that has me busy. It gets very busy for me around this time anyway because we have our community events to put together along with everything else that goes into holiday season. I hope you enjoyed this post and if you feel like commenting your thoughts or maybe a reflection of your own from this year, please do!
