This year has been one of the most difficult years I have had in a long time. We started off with one of our good friends telling us he was going to die. Literally on New Year’s Eve. So that is how our year started. Shortly after, 2 more people passed away. A few months after that, Grampa Sherman passed away, very unexpectedly. That one was very hard to process and accept. That was something that none of us were prepared for. I mean, I was having a beer with him like 3 days before he died. His life wasn’t over, he had plans and stuff he wanted to do. After dealing with all of that, we found out my dad had cancer cells growing in his throat that he would need to get treatment for. Right after HIS dad died, my dad had to deal with the fact that he was going to have to go get radiation. If it wasn’t for us being such a close knit and supportive family idk how he would have done it. So, I went thru the whole summer basically mourning my grandfather’s death while trying to process what my dad was going to have to do, while trying to fish and make enough money for our family to have groceries for the winter.
Now it’s November and everything is over. My dad got his treatment, fishing ended, mine and my mom’s birthdays have passed. My Christmas tree is up and as I sit here soaking in its warm, comforting light I have to reflect on this year. It’s like I have to check in with myself to make sure I am okay after going thru everything I went through this year. Because, how do you process life? We have to endure so much and still be expected to work and be social and do chores. It’s ridiculous. I started my blog because I want to have an outlet and a place to share my thoughts with people and instead of just telling stories all the time, I want to have real conversations or I guess share what I am thinking about in the hopes that my words resonate with whoever is reading this thing. Because we all go through too much and we are expected to just deal with it because it’s life. And it’s true, life does go on, and it’s not always bad. Sometimes I can feel like everybody is getting a little too sensitive in this day and age, but when I really reflect on everything I realize we need to be more sensitive with ourselves and other people because we don’t know what everyone is going through. And, we can’t expect people to be okay all the time. That’s the reason why I haven’t made a blog post in so long. I started this for myself to get more serious with my writing and I know I have a lot of improvements to make. One is getting on a steady weekly schedule. Since I wasn’t writing and posting, I started feeling a sense of failure. Like wow Angie, you started this blog and now look at you. That made it even harder to make a post because I was so uninspired to write anything. This is a learning curve for me and I will be posting more often from now on, unless life gets in the way.
That is especially true. I am proud of you for taking this time to reflect because I too have had a rough year of losses. Not nearly as close as yours and I send my sincerest condolences. It’s something to adjust to when you’re so used to having them around. I did however, lose my family being together as a family, as in husband, wife and kids. My husband and I separated at the middle of this year because we were both battling addiction and being together wasn’t working for our kids. It wasn’t a healthy way of living. We are currently still separated and I told him that holidays don’t feel the same because they sure don’t when you don’t have your loved ones around. The way I look forward is that life goes on even when we are in mourning and it’s up to me to choose whether to dwell or share and I’m happy to have joined this blog. Life in the village definitely isn’t easy, especially when everybody knows everybody.
Thank you for your response and I apologize for taking so long to respond to you. I am relearning how to use this site and now that I have more reliable internet I am going to be more active. I hope you are doing alright after going through all of that with your family.