It's been awhile. Here is an in between post to catch us up from where we left off and where we are headed...
I’ve been wanting to write and post to my blog for a long time. I simply have not had the time and haven’t been in the right headspace to do so. The thing is, my blog is supposed to be an outlet for me to try and get my writing out there, but I am insecure about my writing and what I am willing to post. For this post, I am going to do a little recap/summary of how I’ve been and hopefully that will kick start my way back into actually posting on my blog.
On February 10, 2023, my dad died from an aggressive and horrible cancer. It flipped my whole life upside down and it’s taken me a while to really accept it. I’ve gone through a lot of stages of grief and have been missing my dad ever since. We went through a lot during his cancer journey and no matter what we did, it ended in death and that took a lot out of me. I lost all my faith and a lot of my purpose.
While going through that and feeling all of those emotions, I still had to work. I was elected tribal president in January 2023 before we got the terrible news that my dad’s cancer was back and spreading. A couple of weeks after he died I had to go to the board of fish meetings. And then I had to continue doing my job for the tribe and be the tribal president and go fishing.
Being busy certainly helped me get through the year, but it also kept me kind of numb. We were so determined to make it through the first year of dad being gone that I don’t think I really processed his death the right way. Who knows what the “right way” is? But it was like I was focused on making sure I accepted he was gone and that’s how it was and life goes on and that’s it. So, coming into 2024 and hitting his death anniversary felt like I was going through the first year all over again.
This past year was different though. It was a long year of learning how to live without my dad and getting used to life without him. And it’s true, life does keep on going. Death doesn’t stop it, even if it feels like the world is at a stand-still for you. It’s still going on and on all around you. And as life has continued on, I’ve kept on growing and learning and experiencing new things. I have the biggest change in my life going on right now. I’m pregnant.
I found out I was pregnant on July 19, 2024. One of the best days of my life. It’s January 19, 2025 and I am 30 weeks now with only 10 more to go. It’s wild how fast it goes by. At first it feels like wow 9 whole months? This is going to be a long haul… But then, all of a sudden, you’re 30 weeks and only a month away from having to fly to the city to wait for baby to be born.
It’s April 22nd and our baby girl was born on March 19th. My next post is going to be all about my pregnancy journey and birth story. I am very excited to share and thankful to finally post again after such a long time.